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Indescribable Inertia

I grew up in a house. My parents owned houses my entire life. When I turned 30 I was finally able to move out with my then-boyfriend to a very nice 1-bedroom in Wheaton, IL. It was a lucky find and I love it here. I don’t want to move away from Wheaton. But there’s nothing we can afford but studio apartments, which would be a huge step down in room for us. 

It should be air in the wind compared to the journey I’m on trying to work full time and make time to freelance. It’s stressful with so much up in the air in the next 3 weeks. I’m doing my best, but I’m floundering a little right now. I’m being pulled in different directions and the net force feels like zero, but I know I’ll still keep moving one way or another. 

I managed to send out a proposal for a job on Upwork.com tonight. That felt nice. I’m also trying to make a t-shirt design for my husband. On top of that, my husband won some plane tickets at work. While that’s nice that we have a flight to use sometime between now and next February, it’s really hard to even think about that. It’s the final straw on the camel’s back. I want to focus on work, our lives, and my own happiness. Trip planning will have to wait until September. 

Take it easy and remember to smile. 

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What happens when you get multiple day-job offers?

I want to be a freelancer. There’s no mistake in that. There’s also no shame in that. It’s a long term goal of mine. I interviewed for a day job on Tuesday July 11, 2017. The business owner wanted me to start on Thursday July 13, 2017, but I haven’t heard back about whether I was hired or not and It’s Wednesday July 12, 2017. Thanks to this I know the exact date! 😉 This job would be an ultimate challege. It’s not exactly a design job, but having a background in design is a huge plus. However, I’m not sure the pay is commesurate to the difficulty of the job. It’s starting at $10/hr with a small team of 3-5 people. It entails running printers, a hotpress, an embroidery machine, and a laminator in addition to checking files for quality and accurate size. As a “day job” this would be a tough one, but might add a lot to my understanding of how logos and other graphics are used in the real world on clothing and windows and advertising boards and banners. This business owner promised to get back to me on Tuesday, but did not, and I ended up recieving a second offer for an interview. Now I am conflicted.

The second job interview is scheduled from July 13th, 2017. It’s for a new Mariano’s going up in Lombard, IL, a suburb of Chicago, just east of where I live. While that might sound like a night and day kind of offer between the two, keep in mind that one is a high-stress, high reward, independant contractor job, and the other is a W-2 retail position with long hours and a demanding schedule, but ultimately is similar in pay with a minimum wage of $8.25 in IL and the exact position I’d have at a retail store might pay higher. They are equally difficult in different ways. If I work at Mariano’s the job would start in mid-August. I’m applying for a job in the floral department since it’s the most creative of all the jobs available in such a store. One huge benefit to this job is that I would be at-will. That means I can leave whenever I want and I’m under no obligation to stay even beyond a week or two. It would still buy me the time I need to get established as a Freelancer. $8.25hr is still better than the $6.50/hr equivalent i recieve on unemployment insurance!

I’m still applying for jobs, I’m still keeping my options open if my first offer falls through due to disorganization (the business really needs the help, but really should pay more than $10/hr to start). If I don’t hear back from the owner, I’ll keep my appointment with my second interview offer and go from there. It’s nice that I suddenly have options and they both allow me to freelance on the side and be financially stable. Having now relied on unemployment payments for a month, I can heartily say that it’s harrowing to live on the edge of your finances. I don’t understand why anyone would want to stay jobless and in this situation. I’ve known people like that. People who are getting certain benefits that would end if they kept a job longer than a few weeks at a time. It’s mind-boggling. I don’t want to live like this forever, but also don’t want to trap myself in a work contract that becomes onerous or doesn’t pay comesurate to my skills. After all, that’s how I got myself into this mess in the first place! I’m not eager to repeat my mistakes. I want to lift myself up and do better in the future. I want to be a creative person who works hard and doesn’t give up.

I hope one of these offers pans out so that I can rest assured that I’m doing the best I can.

Take it easy and remember to smile.